Hilary Spencer Creative Photography » Creative photographer specializing in weddings, engagements, and family photography. I'd like to make you smile.

Category Archives: inspiration

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“Don’t should on anyone. And surely… don’t should on yourself.”

Slowly but surely, the “shoulds” have been lifting off my shoulders. I find, especially growing up with such a structured itinerary of the path that you “should” take, you can’t help but end up in your 20’s having a quarter life crisis and wondering how the heck we got so off track.

Hint: there is no track. Or in another sense… you’re on the track of life. It’s going to go where you go, and you’re going to go where it goes. Ouch, my brain.

I should graduate high school with honours. I should go to a post-secondary school and get good grades, because I should get a job right out of said post-secondary institution and I should end up making a decent income within a few short years because I should be praised for all of the hard work I have done and I am doing to make sure that I am where I SHOULD be.

Well, suffice it to say, I’m finally letting go of a bad life-long case of the “shoulds”. And after writing that last sentence the word doesn’t even feel like a real word anymore. It’s a terribly draining word to put on yourself and others. It is especially difficult when you are in an entrepreneurial field, where a lot of your guidance is from peers and other entrepreneurs. Suddenly you’re in a battlefield dodging mines of terrible advice and potentially heinous connections in order to find the few gemstones of great information. But my mind still jumps to “I should be blogging seven days a week, because that’s what a good entrepreneur does, and that’s the only way to get followers, and that’s the only way I’ll end up with more business, and that’s just what people do.”

No, brain. That’s silly. Calm yourself.

will blog when I truly have great content to blog. I will gain more business through tried, tested, true, fresh and newly invigorating avenues that excite me and allow me to confidently share my business and brand with the world. I would love to be that chick who has everything together, but coming to terms with the fact that I’m not… well that’s been the most freeing feeling ever.

I should be in bed right now, but I will blog this thought train until my eyes close up shop and my bed shouts “LAST CALL!”

Don’t should on yourself. Will yourself to do great things. Support ideas and feelings and good vibes. You are right where you aught to be, wherever that may be.

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Wow, April went by fast. Like in a heartbeat. Can’t even believe it.

I just had to post about something I came across recently. It’s been bugging my brain for days and I can’t shake that feeling of “I need to tell someone this”. So I’m telling you, dear readers, if you’re still around since my last post ages ago!

The story is this: I was in a department store, shooting for a promotional day they were having, which featured a DJ. A great DJ. Playing all the right mixes and hits. Everyone had a little mamba in their step that day, and you could watch people trying to resist the sway of their hips as they browsed through the beauty department. This guy was good. There was one particular woman who had the most beautiful curves, and had a shake to go with them, if you catch my drift. She was sashaying and swaying, bouncing and grooving, until… she saw me. I’ll admit, I was watching her. Not in a creepy voyeur kind of a way, but in a fascinated, jovial, gosh she’s so happy! thought kind of way. And immediately she stopped, giggled for a second, and said, “Sorry, sorry…” and slunk behind the counter.

I immediately raced over and said “No! No! It’s ok!” and did a little jive of my own, but the moment had passed.

What I’ve taken from this moment, friends, is this: do not, DO NOT apologize for your joy. Whatever that may be. Whatever may bring that to you. Do not apologize for having a great time in a moment that is fleeting.

Watching my beauty department dancer made me smile, and she was embarrassed, I could tell. But don’t you for a second think that you have to apologize for being yourself when no one is watching (or when they are, for that matter!)

Dance your dance, jive your jive, and live your joy. xo

 

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