Hilary Spencer Creative Photography » Creative photographer specializing in weddings, engagements, and family photography. I'd like to make you smile.

The Power of Should

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“Don’t should on anyone. And surely… don’t should on yourself.”

Slowly but surely, the “shoulds” have been lifting off my shoulders. I find, especially growing up with such a structured itinerary of the path that you “should” take, you can’t help but end up in your 20’s having a quarter life crisis and wondering how the heck we got so off track.

Hint: there is no track. Or in another sense… you’re on the track of life. It’s going to go where you go, and you’re going to go where it goes. Ouch, my brain.

I should graduate high school with honours. I should go to a post-secondary school and get good grades, because I should get a job right out of said post-secondary institution and I should end up making a decent income within a few short years because I should be praised for all of the hard work I have done and I am doing to make sure that I am where I SHOULD be.

Well, suffice it to say, I’m finally letting go of a bad life-long case of the “shoulds”. And after writing that last sentence the word doesn’t even feel like a real word anymore. It’s a terribly draining word to put on yourself and others. It is especially difficult when you are in an entrepreneurial field, where a lot of your guidance is from peers and other entrepreneurs. Suddenly you’re in a battlefield dodging mines of terrible advice and potentially heinous connections in order to find the few gemstones of great information. But my mind still jumps to “I should be blogging seven days a week, because that’s what a good entrepreneur does, and that’s the only way to get followers, and that’s the only way I’ll end up with more business, and that’s just what people do.”

No, brain. That’s silly. Calm yourself.

will blog when I truly have great content to blog. I will gain more business through tried, tested, true, fresh and newly invigorating avenues that excite me and allow me to confidently share my business and brand with the world. I would love to be that chick who has everything together, but coming to terms with the fact that I’m not… well that’s been the most freeing feeling ever.

I should be in bed right now, but I will blog this thought train until my eyes close up shop and my bed shouts “LAST CALL!”

Don’t should on yourself. Will yourself to do great things. Support ideas and feelings and good vibes. You are right where you aught to be, wherever that may be.

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